What’s that you say? Print media is in its last death throes? Far from it! Actually the magazine’s appeal is just becoming more selective. A host of new titles targeting urban and suburban niche-markets testify to the ongoing importance of our glossies in arenas varying from the waiting room to the poop-strewn sidewalk. Just a few of the new crop:
The Entitled Asshole
Are you new to town, but looking to ‘own it,’ and immediately resent all others who came before or after? Keep up to date with this informative monthly, including many forums for various smug sons-of-bitches, such as which urban accessory best fits your lifestyle – dog, SUV or human infant?
Water-Cooler Weekly
Always the last to know the latest TV-minted catchphrase to throw around the office? Really!? This handy digest rounds-up all the week’s notable programming in ‘Comedy’ or ‘Drama’ and includes plot summaries (where necessary). You don’t need to watch 3 DVDs of ‘The Wire’ in one weekend, or “How I Met Your Mother” ever! Just subscribe to this for a year! Talk to the Hand!
Orgy of Death
All obituaries – all the time. Rounded up from the smallest country gazette to the most cosmopolitan of rags. (Now w/juicy ‘Dead Gossip’ insert!) Let this digest of the deceased be your first reassuring read in the morning with your coffee + juice (if you’re still alive.)
Sewer + Stream
Camo’s not just for the country anymore! In the New Depression, all bets are off and this monthly will keep you prepared with the latest in urban survival (and prospering!) techniques. Learn which gauge ammo or dirty bomb to use when hunting raccoon / squirrel / rat, how to ‘blend in’ on Bedford Ave. when stalking elusive hipster jailbait, and the latest methods of drinking your own pee. (Smoothies?)
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