(August Ed., Condensed from the Pages of Time’s Up NY)
Here’s just a few of the many city happenings to miss last week ~
‘Mamet in The Park’ (Every Weekend) Fans will line up early (& occasionally brawl) to gain entry to this free (& blue) city tradition. This year’s gritty al fresco production of ‘American Buffalo’ brings the combined talents of Zach Braff, Woody Harrelson and the kid from ‘Two &1/2 Men.’ The whole family is welcome, but don’t worry - earmuffs will be provided for the little ones as protection from flying F-words. (Though they gotta know that shit by now- it’s the goddam city!)
Squatter Museum & Living History Tour (Tues, Thurs) Last remaining 1980s East Village anarcho-punk communal squatter Duncan ‘Pullen’ Teith leads you on a tour of ‘his’ Tompkins Square Park, including the site of his bulldozed lean-to and the condemned tenement he and his old lady shot up in (now a luxury condo). Meet at the Pinkberry Frozen Yogurt near 7th St. & Ave A.
A Conversation w/ Andrew “Dice” Clay @ Yeshiva Institute (Flushing, Thurs) Raunchy Hebrew comic legend The “Dice-Man” (nee Andrew Silverstein) sits down for a probing discussion about his new memoir, What’chu Lookin’ At, Jew-Boy? (A Reflection) Note: Requests for Andrew’s ‘schtick’ will not be honored, as the conversation will focus on his book only. (Although ya might get one or two if yer lucky, if you know what I mean - Boom!)
Nanny Wars (Sat)- Third Avenue north of 72nd St. will close to traffic for this lively event, in which Upper East Side nannies compete in events ranging from the Duane Reade Pharmacy Relay, to the Toys ‘R Us Elevator Cram to the Stouffer’s Wide Load Stroller 100k. Caribbean treats will be served, and the winner will go on to challenge the champion of the Park Slope Regionals.
‘Time’s Up’s ‘Go Postal!’ Speed-Dating (Sun) With snail-mail fast becoming a cultural artifact and the USPS threatening to go belly-up, why not come out for a night of potential romance to benefit your local branch? The lines move quicker, too! When the lights flash, aspiring singles rotate to greet their next potential match at assigned service windows, hoping for an express delivery - of love. It’s the best ‘Flat-rate’ date in town.
($15 w/one comp. beverage, Canal Street branch)
Monday, August 22, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Spoiler Alert!
As our national political death-race kicks into gear (in Iowa, natch), candidates are jockeying for face time on the stump, hoping to gain that all-important early momentum. But in the game of politics, in ain’t over til’ it’s bought and paid for, and nobody really knows how the race will shake out. Pundits are abuzz over who might make a surprise splash as a 2012 presidential ‘spoiler,’ leaving the other chumps sputtering in their wake. A few of the ‘hottest’ tips:
Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger Who better than the ‘Miracle on the Hudson’ pilot, our last true National Hero, to take the helm of this reeling airship called America? Someone’s got to land this thing. Take us down gently, or put us out of our misery, Sully! (Looks like we picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.)
Vince, The ‘ShamWow’ Guy Messes were made, but you can be sure the super-absorbent ShamWow can handle ‘em. Admittedly, it’s going to take an awfully big ShamWow to staunch massive global economic bleeding, but Vince has got your back. Sure, the MIA infomercial superstar has been known to get hopped up on goofballs and consort with prostitutes- so he’ll fit right in!
Rachael Ray Take Sarah Palin - add a smidge of sanity (and a stick of butter), and oven-bake ‘til ‘poppin’- fresh,’ and you’ll have America’s homemade culinary media mogul sweetheart! She’s got a perky smile, a ‘nails-on chalk-board’ voice and a shitload of awesome comfort food recipes, just the thing for what ails ya in a double-dip recession. Mmm - double-dip.
Larry, ‘The Cable Guy’ / Joe the Plumber “Get ‘er Done, America in 2012!” (& forever.)
Ralph Nader America’s longest-running professional political spoiler is tanned, rested and pumped for his 2012 reboot. (along with rumored new power gal-pal J-Lo!) This time, he’s done kvetching about car safety, the environment and taxes, and has thrown up his hands in the air (like he just don’t care), making no bones about his true role in the political circus - “Nader 2012 - I just wanna F*ck Sh*t Up!”
Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger Who better than the ‘Miracle on the Hudson’ pilot, our last true National Hero, to take the helm of this reeling airship called America? Someone’s got to land this thing. Take us down gently, or put us out of our misery, Sully! (Looks like we picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.)
Vince, The ‘ShamWow’ Guy Messes were made, but you can be sure the super-absorbent ShamWow can handle ‘em. Admittedly, it’s going to take an awfully big ShamWow to staunch massive global economic bleeding, but Vince has got your back. Sure, the MIA infomercial superstar has been known to get hopped up on goofballs and consort with prostitutes- so he’ll fit right in!
Rachael Ray Take Sarah Palin - add a smidge of sanity (and a stick of butter), and oven-bake ‘til ‘poppin’- fresh,’ and you’ll have America’s homemade culinary media mogul sweetheart! She’s got a perky smile, a ‘nails-on chalk-board’ voice and a shitload of awesome comfort food recipes, just the thing for what ails ya in a double-dip recession. Mmm - double-dip.
Larry, ‘The Cable Guy’ / Joe the Plumber “Get ‘er Done, America in 2012!” (& forever.)
Ralph Nader America’s longest-running professional political spoiler is tanned, rested and pumped for his 2012 reboot. (along with rumored new power gal-pal J-Lo!) This time, he’s done kvetching about car safety, the environment and taxes, and has thrown up his hands in the air (like he just don’t care), making no bones about his true role in the political circus - “Nader 2012 - I just wanna F*ck Sh*t Up!”
Friday, August 5, 2011
More Replacements!
The dog daze of summer are a great time for the networks to run some “new” ideas up the flagpole and see who salutes (by not changing the channel). Let’s take a look at a few of the new kids on the block in this sultry season.
Ghost Bodega Did CBS’ untimely cancellations of ‘Touched by an Angel’ and ‘Ghost Whisperer’ leave you in the lurch? Why not try a little Latin “sabor” in your supernatural? In this Saturday night entry, a Dominican inner-city grocery owner (Esai Morales) who was tragically gunned down in a robbery returns behind the counter to keep his ‘loca familia’ in line, and solve the numerous problemas of his customers on the block. Della Reese- watch your back! (CBS, SAT 9pm)
Rim Job It’s like Pawn Stars, but 60% more “street,” as teams of desperadoes nationwide plunder prize tires from cars and bicycles alike, competing to become king of the black-market ‘bling,’ and tear up the road in a cross-country race. Better get a better lock - These boys don’t haggle. (NBC, THURS 10pm)
The Sub Aging dweeb Jon Cryer made good use of his down-time during the ‘Two ½ Men’ turmoil to flex his chops in this intriguing new dramatic series. Cryer plays a mild-mannered journeyman substitute teacher who travels the back-roads of America’s beleaguered educational system, filling in for 3rd period social studies while moonlighting as a problem solving (a la “Equalizer”) heroic mercenary-for-hire. Who needs tenure when the job gets done right? (ABC, WED 9pm)
Blackout! In this reality entry, a serious problem drunk is ‘punk’d’ each week- his world turned upside down by a professional prank team as he rests in a pool of his own vomit – with hilarious results. You won’t believe the priceless reactions, running the gamut from “Holy shit - I killed a guy?” to “I have a butler?” to “I run Fox News?” (FOX, SAT 9pm)
Brick, Notary Public ‘Where’d he go’ TV fave Ted McGinley returns to the airwaves as Brick- a guy who you call to sign stuff. Twist is, Brick is pretty badass- he lives on a boat, scores a lot of babes, solves a crime or two and knows how to party. If he’s not laying down his ‘John Hancock,’ he’s (literally) jumping sharks! (USA, FRI 10pm)
Ghost Bodega Did CBS’ untimely cancellations of ‘Touched by an Angel’ and ‘Ghost Whisperer’ leave you in the lurch? Why not try a little Latin “sabor” in your supernatural? In this Saturday night entry, a Dominican inner-city grocery owner (Esai Morales) who was tragically gunned down in a robbery returns behind the counter to keep his ‘loca familia’ in line, and solve the numerous problemas of his customers on the block. Della Reese- watch your back! (CBS, SAT 9pm)
Rim Job It’s like Pawn Stars, but 60% more “street,” as teams of desperadoes nationwide plunder prize tires from cars and bicycles alike, competing to become king of the black-market ‘bling,’ and tear up the road in a cross-country race. Better get a better lock - These boys don’t haggle. (NBC, THURS 10pm)
The Sub Aging dweeb Jon Cryer made good use of his down-time during the ‘Two ½ Men’ turmoil to flex his chops in this intriguing new dramatic series. Cryer plays a mild-mannered journeyman substitute teacher who travels the back-roads of America’s beleaguered educational system, filling in for 3rd period social studies while moonlighting as a problem solving (a la “Equalizer”) heroic mercenary-for-hire. Who needs tenure when the job gets done right? (ABC, WED 9pm)
Blackout! In this reality entry, a serious problem drunk is ‘punk’d’ each week- his world turned upside down by a professional prank team as he rests in a pool of his own vomit – with hilarious results. You won’t believe the priceless reactions, running the gamut from “Holy shit - I killed a guy?” to “I have a butler?” to “I run Fox News?” (FOX, SAT 9pm)
Brick, Notary Public ‘Where’d he go’ TV fave Ted McGinley returns to the airwaves as Brick- a guy who you call to sign stuff. Twist is, Brick is pretty badass- he lives on a boat, scores a lot of babes, solves a crime or two and knows how to party. If he’s not laying down his ‘John Hancock,’ he’s (literally) jumping sharks! (USA, FRI 10pm)
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